Piscina Flaps
Here's to a great new year in advance guys!
My mate The Duke held up his glass and the rest of us did likewise to his toast.
Cheers!
We had popped around to my mate and his wife's house for some festive celebrations. They had kids too which meant that we could sneak a few cheeky drinks together whilst the kids played outside.
Fancy another wee top-up, dawg?
The Duke pointed at my glass and none too subtly motioned me with an eyebrow over to the dining area where a myriad of bottles lurked.
I don't mind if I do, muckeroo!
I downed what was left in my glass and followed him over to the table.
Fancy a brandy or a rum?
He waggled two bottles at me like a skier with Parkinson's.
Well, me old China. We could have a mix of both! What would that be, a Randy? Or a Bum? Or maybe a Brummie!
We laughed hard at this because everyone knows Brummies are bums.
Ha, good one. Go for a Brandy then and we can have a rum after. I have fancy Tequila too. Fancy a quick shot?
The Duke looked furtively behind him at the wives and then out of the kitchen window where the kids were playing in the sunny climate-broken world of 2024.
Alright then. Can't go totally bonkers though, you know.
I nodded in the general direction of the kids and he nodded back sagely in the way that parents do who still believe that their children have never seen them drunk.
We necked our tequilas then brandy and took our rums to the table where The Duke's wife, Shoggoth and the Good-Lady sat.
Shoggoth's many eyes blinked wetly at our arrival.
HAVE FUN DID WE?
She grunted loudly as she oozed slightly sideways.
Aye, just grabbing a cheeky tequila.
The Duke winked and grinned at his beloved who hissed and bubbled affectionately back.
DID YOU HAVE A NICE CHRISTMAS DINNER?
Shoggoth bellowed like a fleshy many-eyed steam train in my direction.
Aye, it was nice. We had my brother over. It was fun.
I sipped my rum and tried not to wither under the acid gaze of The Duke's formidable sea-wife.
DID YOU HAVE A NICE TURKEY?
She smacked her lips as if feasting on the thighbones of a large dead thing.
No turkey, none of us like it. We had tacos! Fish and chicken tacos. It was awesome. Kids loved it. Everyone loved it.
My eyes danced merrily with the memory. I bloody love tacos.
TACOS? JAMES, DID YOU HEAR THAT?
Shoggoth turned to The Duke and flailed her tentacles to and fro as if in distress.
Tacos eh? That would be nice, we had turkey but you know... maybe we should have tacos next year. Change things up a bit!
The Duke beamed at the thought. Like all good people, he loved spice. It was only the truly wicked who didn't.
TACOS? ON CHRISTMAS DAY JAMES, ARE YOU DINGING MA BELL?
Shoggoth stirred angrily, sand from the seabed wafting up around her in great clouds.
TURKEY, THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE FOR CHRISTMAS. NOT BLOODY TACOS. NO WAY WILL WE HAVE TACOS. ON CHRISTMAS?
She turned back to me, her many mouths gnashing shut with mighty clicks and snaps.
TACOS...WHAT DID YOUR BROTHER THINK OF THAT? WHAT DID HE MAKE OF THE TACOS WHEN YOU SERVED THEM UP TO HIM?!
She shifted her weight up and down in consternation at the idea of my brother being so insulted.
He loved them, absolutely loves a good taco. To be honest he loves them a wee bit too much, especially the fish ones. You know what I mean?
I winked at Shoggoth and gave a flirty tilt of my head.
WHIT DO YOU MEAN? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. JAMES, WHIT DOES HE MEAN? JAMES?
Shoggoth's tentacles and frilled underflesh parts whipped back and forth in distress.
He's just messing about, love. Never mind him.
The Duke made a warning motion my way with his hands and I realised then that his wife was bonkers drunk.
LOVES THEM TOO MUCH? HOW CAN YOU LOVE THEM TOO MUCH? A TACO'S A TACO?!
She wailed confusedly.
I was going to joke that he loves them so much he would shag the fish ones if you let him.
I sniggered like a mischievous schoolboy at the thought.
SHAG THE TACOS? JAMES, WHAT IS HE TALKIN ABOUT? YOU CANNAE SHAG A TACO? THAT'S NO RIGHT?!
Shoggoth rose to her full monstrous height and blinked furiously as if waking up from a dream.
AH THINK AH NEED A WEE DISCO NAP ACTUALLY.
She looked at me sideways and tromped off muttering about shagging fucking tacos.
I grinned a little sheepishly.
Sorry mate, I was just joshing.
The Duke waved away my apology as he watched his missus depart with some obvious glee.
Once she had cleared the room he turned to me and the Good Lady.
Tequila anyone?
That would be something to enjoy watching..., at a distance! Sure the good woman were ready to bounce you Brummies right out the door so they could party !LOLZ
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There was a lot of bouncing and a lot of drinking. I don't know if I can keep up sometimes!! 😀
When old buddies get together, time to have fun. Couple of sneaky snorts/retorts you have a wingman!
It is always better to have a wingman! Although it tends to get you in more trouble than normal! :OD
Trouble is my middle name, what's yours 😁
Haha, well funnily enough it is exactly the same!! 😀😀
Agitate with a smile 😜
How many kind of drinks were there? Seem so much mix 😄
There were a lot of drinks. It's the season of madness in Scotland!! Too much madness!! 😀😀
🤣🤣😅 such drama! You never stop to get them, especially with your words. Lol.
This was a fun read. Haha.
... and yes! Happy New Year in advance. Cheers to that with brummies.😝
A very happy New year to you and yours when it comes!. I live to write a fun read so I'm happy 😀😀
Haha... always interesting to go!
Wayhay!! 😀😐
I'm not sure what to make of Shoggoth. Sounds like she has a beef with you, or is one of these argumentativeness types that amplify the trait while under the influence.
Mixing all that, I bet you had a shitty hangover.
She's the argumentative type. A totally typical cup on shoulder Scottish woman who usually answers and question such as hey, how are you doing? with an aggressive WHIT? as if you said something fighty! It can be a tad wearing at times!
She must be an alien if she doesn't like tacos!? Tacos are like the food of the gods :-) Bet she had some wicked dreams lol
I know, I was as happy as a pig in shit when we agreed to have tacos for Xmas dinner!!
She would have had those mad dreams where you wake up and got a minute are not sure where you are and what has actually happened 🤣🤣
Yeah and she'll probably blame it all on her husband, the poor guy lol
I think she blames a lot on him but it is totally like water off a ducks back!
Quentin Tarantino Style :D
It's the only way!!! 😀
Lol 😂 if their relationship ends up falling on hard times we will all know the reason.
I not sure why but this part also really cracked me up
Hehe, he has a very particular bottle waggle 😀😀
He seems quite happy, gets her drunk and packs her of to bed to get drunker!! But she is a handful at the best of times!
Lol sounds like it. At least she takes herself off to bed haha
I thought that was quite handy. I was going the Good Lady might take some lessons in that respect 🤣🤣
What! You can't have a toot or two in front of the little ones?
Nonsense!
As any self-respecting member of the much-vaunted, fussed over, and ballyhood (a word we need to use more often), Satanic Cat Society knows, it's right proper to pour heaping dollops (Yet another word we need to use more often), of the stuff into baby bottles in order to "help them settle."
Why it was done to me as a toddler, and look at me now! bulbous red nose and all.
So I call for a return to the good old days when wee babies were right sozzled, crocked, gassed, lit, inebriated, soused, and generally three sheets to the wind, like a proper diaper-wearing member of society out to be! (the baby that is, not meesterboom. Although he's been known to sport a diaper in public from time to time.) Cheers! and see you in the new year! :)
Haha, yes indeed I believe the very same was done to me as a nipper. Which night explain a lot.
We don't mind drinking in front of them but with some of the families I know they can go a bit too far so it is best they are out the room!
Have a great new year mate! 😀
Haha. You and James dare not prepare some tacos on Christmas day
I am sure Shoggoth won't allow that to happen either😂
I think I am sold on Christmas tacos forever more. It was the best Christmas dinner ever! :OD
Now you make me wanna have some tacos on Christmas day😀 I know I could only imagine it because the Turkeys and chickens won't let me try it😂
You would be saving the birds!! 🤣
Oh ! Tacos for the Christmas feast ! That sounds divine !
Actually, it makes me want one right now !
That really gives the permissions when one's wife is drunker than he is. LOL
I ate far too many of the darn things but it was an amazing thing!!
Yeah, I don't think it's an uncommon occurrence either that she gets pie-eyed and he does what he wants! 😀😀
Shagging Tacos!!! Sounds like an eventful full Christmas! Happy holidays old chap!
!PIZZA
It was thankfully quite eventless but it was all three better for it!! 😀😀
Happy holidays milady!!
$PIZZA slices delivered:
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Sounds like the sea animal can’t handle her liquor. Light weight!
I watched a video compilation of a bunch of random Scottish people doing funny things earlier and I laughed heartily, thinking it was your brethren and it made it even better. Did you see the video of the Scottish dude sliding down an icy hill on his ass backwards? Poor guy was just defeated lol
I think I might have seen that, lol. Yes, there are many daft Scottish antics. I suspect that drinking is often behind a lot of them!! 😀😀
Hahaha yes there was alcohol in almost every one of them! It was amazing hahaha.
Hahah, aye, that sounds about right!! :OD
Hey, the children are playing in the sunny world of 2024, you are very drunk hahahahaha, it hasn't arrived yet, there are 3 days left, well, children have a lot of imagination, so for them it is already 2024.
By the way, I wish you a happy new year, 3 days before, but I don't know if I will work on the 31st, so I better make sure to give you my best wishes for the year 2024
The way the weather is acting it might be like 2030!!
I will wish you a happy new year in advance too!! Hopefully you don't have to work!!
Thank you for your good wishes, but I will have to work tomorrow, well, it's just another day, lies hahahaha, it's the end of the year, but I work until 1 pm
https://twitter.com/jewellery_all/status/1740492394888646840
I like the sound of tacos at Xmas. I don't eat turkey anyway, but we do tend to have the traditional veg with our veggie main.
You do have a way with the ladies. What have they got against us guys enjoying the odd shot? Time was when the men would go off after dinner for brandy or whatever and a game of billiards. They would probably smoke too, but that's a filthy habit.
Happy new year!
It was a fab dinner, we decided this year to ask the kids for ideas and it was one of their suggestions. I was like, hell yeah!
I miss those times of post dinner brandies! I did reminisce slightly reading your comment of having cigars on special occasions. Smoking might be stinky but cigars almost circumvent that rule!
Happy new year to you and your family too when it comes!!
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When some people are drunk they are never approached, let alone joked with. Maybe you should put some tranquilizers in her drink 😅
I would need a big game tranquilliser. Shot from a gun... 🤣🤣
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despite my totally non-Christmasy and generally un-festive mood this made me smile and grin 😄 Happy holidays to all who celebrate, and I’m raising my glass (wine, not hard liquor, hehe) to new beginnings!
Nothing wrong with an un-festive mood. That tends to be me! Wine is the finest of things to have a glass, cheers! :OD
Tacos for Christmas eh, that does sound lovely. We usually just have spaghetti, ham, and spring rolls. But Tacos would spice things up a bit. Add a bit more choices to the meal.
Your friend's wife is a funny drunk. Those are the types you can put jokes out and it just goes over their head. But I am more impressed by how you guys drank. You downed your drink, shot a tequila, then the brandy, then still had a glass of rum. I'm not a strong drinker, and I think I'll be tipsy just from that sequence haha.
I like me a bit of spaghetti, that would have been a good xmas dinner.
She is a crazy drunk, she often gets quite belligerent but thankfully this time just got sleepy.
We are a bunch of silly drinkers. I like to blame my friend for leading me astray but I think I might be as bad as him and allow myself to be led quite easily!
We were at the shops recently and J asked me if I wanted to buy any alcohol and I was like I'm not really feeling it, but decided to try and work out what I might be feeling later. Middle child kept trying to pick the bottles with the coolest looking art but she kept gravitating to the skeletons and they were all tequila which I don't like XD
I ended up with Absolut Lime
I'm guessing from the reaction when you got back you weren't quite as quick with the sneaky drinks as you were hoping to be? XD
Shoggoth wouldn't cope with our Christmas dinners then XD It was only a small one this year but we had ham, shepherd's pie, raw vegetables with a sambal dip, some stirfried vegetable dish, devil curry, rice, and I'm pretty sure there was other stuff in the spread too but I can't remember what right now (I'm mostly remembering what was on my plate). No turkey XD And it's done buffet style. Similar deal when we went to my uncle and aunty's for their Christmas party XD There was supposed to be pavlova for dessert but the meringue didn't behave (Mum suspects because she tried with normal sugar as there was no castor sugar anywhere on the island) so she turned it into Eton Mess (which was the first itme I had ever heard of that) and made a sponge cake.
With J's side of the family it's similar but different as there's various platters of different types of meat and a lot of roast vegetables and they have the more traditional desserts of trifle and a gigantic round Christmas pudding that you have to boil in a sack (that one still gets me XD) and sometimes other things. There might be turkey sometimes too maybe (I don't like it).
Sounds like a hilarious evening XD How's your head? XP
Lol, you guessed right. We were a tad longer than we should have been with the sneaky drinks. What seems like a minute...
My head is okayish, it has been a hard journey this year with the drinks. I must be getting old as I am sure feeling it!
Those dinners sound tops, I love the sound of devil curry. I got outvoted this year as I had wanted curry but the youngest was like blegh, no way!
We have that pudding too! Well, I mean we as in Scotland. The boil in a sack one, Clootie dumpling they call it. I hate it but some people go cuckoo over it. This year we had sticky toffee pudding which was awesome. I could have been persuaded with an Eton Mess right enough, I have always liked them!
On the getting old thing I've been feeling the same with late nights and early mornings. As a friend of mine put it ages ago, "this ain't as easy as it used to be" XD
Do it buffet style and make multiple dishes? XD But maybe smaller if you don't regularly have people over.
I know that feeling. It ain't as easy as it used to be really really sums things up!
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You're a genius. 👏🏼
Brandy and Tequila? And you're hardcore af too. 👀
As hardcore as Fish Tacos.
Pizza for Christmas Dinner anyone?
I can't remember what we actually ate in the end... but it wasn't pizza.
Or Fish Tacos
🤔
Sending sunshine from the South
A genius or a buffoon. Sometimes I think I tread a fine line between the two!
Pizza would be good, that was one of our family suggestions, tacos won just because we have pizzs more often!
I can send some sunshine back, its crazy not cold here right now!
Aren't they the same thing? Genius and buffoon, I mean.
Not Tacos and Pizza 👆🏼
It's windy here. Mad windy. Annoying windy. Just full of wind!
Not good for helicopters 😔
Okay. Stay drunk 👍🏽
Catch you in the ether here and there :D
Hehe, they are certainly two sides of the same coin!
We had a storm! Nope up out of nowhere then gone. I was half worried the roof would blow off but then remembered I don't live in a children's story 😀😀
Catch ya milady, stay cool! 😀
Still a storm going on here... windy af.
Guess we gotta walk through it as always. No skirts allowed!
On we go and catch ya always, Sir.
Has Boomy gone barmy? Has he accidentally made up a word already in use?
Well, no more barmy than usual. I think he knows what he's implying.
OK, he fucking knows damn well what that label means. And he probably reads The Littlest Shoggoth to the family every Christmas Eve, too.
Heh heh, oh yes indeed. I knew! Although I must thank you for I had never heard the Littlest Shoggoth before, awesome!
Old Shoggoth and her taco-induced...umm...salty taco huh? 😊
Anyway, tacos for Christmas...who doesn't like slurping up a decent taco right?
It was the finest Christmas dinner in a long time although I (as usual) over fecking indulged and rammed as many down my neck as I could. It was splendid though! :O)
Overindulging is par for the course my friend, it is known.
And it is done with great gusto!!
hAPPY nEW YEAR IN ADVANCE mR. bOOM!
Raaar! And the very same to you too m'dear!! 🙂🙂
https://twitter.com/LovingGirlHive/status/1740739306476703931
That combination of drinks that you took from experience I tell you that it ends badly... hahahahahahaha... I have not finished reading but, but....
There was very little left to finish the party that is reading you. Hey, I wish you and your good lady a wonderful end of the year and many good things for 2024, including health, prosperity, joy ... and you especially that flame of creativity does not turn off because the truth is that you are a great enjoyment for me and for many here.
Cheers! Come a tequila with rum with brandy with mango beer and gin, if life is only one...
You said the magic words, mango beer!! Woohoo!! 😀
Thank you, I hope that you have a fabulous new year too and of course that the creative spark keeps on burning!! 😀
https://twitter.com/lee19389/status/1740793252171887024
#hive #posh
Just like that time is passing very fast and we all have one year less in our life we all have to take care of only one thing enjoy every passing time because life has some Even man does not know.
One year less indeed but hopefully those years increase in quality!
Hope so.
I can't stand roast turkey. I really like the idea of tacos for Xmas. Everyone can build their own. For the traditionalists, I might even make some turkey based taco meat.
Boomdawg, you might have just changed Christmas dinner forever!!!!
I hope so, it was genuinely a great one. I kept alternating between fish and chicken till I was so full I couldn't move. Was the nicest Xmas dinner in a long time!
I am the same with turkey, it's such a bland meat but it could probably be spiced up enough for a taco, hehe 😀😀
I would prefer Brummie.
Brummie did have the better ring to it! 😀
I'm a huge fan of non-traditional Christmas dinners. This year I made chili with all the fixings. Next year I might well be tacos! Lol. Happy New Year to you @meesterboom!
Next year for me might be chilli!! Your chilli!! Cheers man and have a great new year!! 😀
Thanks!
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