No Gloves Equal No Rules: Tribe Called Judah Review.

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Okay, so let’s talk about Tribe Called Judah, the movie Funke Akindele dropped like a hot plate of rice and ripe plantain on Nigerian cinema. Now, I know the contest is about fighting movies, but if you’ve watched this film, you already know it’s a different kind of fight. No boxing gloves, no martial arts belts, just raw Nigerian family drama, street smarts, and survival instincts. And that in itself, is one type of fight on its own.

Firstly, Funke Akindele already got a lot of applaud for this movie but allow me to applaud all over again. She lined up a cast so chaotic and unpredictable, you just know you’re in for one hell of a ride. The movie follows the five sons of Funke Akindele, all half-brothers from different fathers (yes, their mother was clearly running a multi-national romance business) who team up to rob a mall. The plot twist is, this is Nigeria, there’s always a plot twist even in the plot twist of our usual daily lives. And let’s just say their heist didn’t exactly go as planned.

You see, in Tribe Called Judah, the fighting isn’t your regular punch-throwing, karate-kicking action. Nah. This is the kind of fighting that happens when five Nigerian siblings are locked in a room and forced to agree on one plan. Even one sibling and I have a hard time agreeing, now imagine 5 siblings with distinctively different personal values and personalities. The way these brothers fought verbally, emotionally, and occasionally physically, I don’t know how their mother brought of a group of boys but, definitely would have been a lot of work.

Their mother, played by Funke herself. That woman, like most women would do anything to defend and support her children but if Nigerian mothers had a martial arts ranking, she’d be a black belt in discipline and guilt-tripping. Every time she opened her mouth, you just knew someone was about to be verbally drop-kicked into submission.

I remember the introducing scene where someone had insulted their mother, the boys called one another one after the other and ran to the scene of the fight, despite their social differences, I mean, two having responsible jobs, one being a proper thug, one being a pocket picker and the last being a proper last born, they rally round and almost beat the guy that insulted their mother to death. One thing about them, they always seem to fight for the proper reasons and only when necessarily.

And let’s not forget the mall fight scene. Premium Nigerian chaos, complete with furniture flying, people tripping over their own legs, and untrained gunmen shooting based on fighting instincts rather than logic. Imagine going to rob a mall only to meet real armed robbers there, lol. It was messy, hilarious, and so relatable because let’s be honest, Nigerians don’t do clean fights. Receive proper Judo or Taekwondo training? What’s that? lol. We fight with body, spirit, and voice volume.

The moral of Tribe Called Judah is clear: if you must fight, fight with strategy. If your strategy is nonsense, at least, don’t go down without a fight. Of course, there was an extremely emotional side to this movie too, one that made the audience cry, I know I cried. But I’ll let you watch it to find out.

Now to mention the uncomfortable part about their fighting strategy, why in the world did they think a group of five men with no experience in robbery could pull off a mall heist? That level of confidence is inspiring but also deeply disturbing.

Overall, Tribe Called Judah is an entertaining ride that proves fighting doesn’t always have to involve throwing hands, sometimes, your mouth is the deadliest weapon. And most importantly, he who fights for the right reasons will always win the fight.

MY RATINGS
6/10.

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